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Published On: Sat, Nov 12th, 2016

What can hurt your sex life (II)

So how do you tell your partner what you want without bruising his or her ego? I think it’s really in how you bring up the statement, ‘I would love it if we…’ or, ‘Could we try this?’ You don’t want to make them feel bad about what they’ve done or haven’t done.

You can have the conversation whenever and wherever it’s most comfortable for you. But before you talk, you need to know exactly what it is about your sex life that bothers you. Is it a question of technique, personal hygiene or timing? Once you know what isn’t working for you, go ahead and be smart about it. There are things you can suggest that can mitigate those circumstances, for example, if something about your partner’s smell is turning you off, suggest taking a bath together before making love. If you crave more foreplay, ask for slower sequence to sex.

Sometimes, what can hurt our sex lives could be some unknown physical conditions, such as premature ejaculation. Or it may be that the stress from your job is bleeding over into the bedroom and disrupting your sex life.

Many married couples suffer from high cholesterol and because this illness does not show any signs or symptoms of sickness, many spouses suffer unknowingly from its negative effects. It has been discovered that high cholesterol in the body can slow pelvic blood flow, making it harder to get aroused and to have a satisfying sex. This has nothing much to do with men alone; both men and women are at risk of high cholesterol. Cholesterol narrows blood vessels everywhere from the heart to the pelvis. In men, erection problems can even be an early warning sign of heart disease. If there’s too much LDL in your blood, it can gather on the walls of your arteries, forming plaque. This buildup narrows and stiffens the arteries – putting you at risk of a heart attack or stroke.

Many thin couples think because they are paper weight, they do not need to think about cholesterol.  Even if you’re rail-thin and super-fit, your genes and what you eat can get you into trouble. That’s why it’s crucial to have your cholesterol checked regularly, starting in your 20s. You should know about any family members who’ve had heart problems, too.

Most husbands have problems of high cholesterol than wives because men have cholesterol trouble earlier than women. This is because the hormone that causes a cholesterol “age gap” between men and women is estrogen. This female hormone lowers “bad” cholesterol and raises “good” cholesterol. It’s not enough to make up for bad eating habits, though, and after menopause, women lose their advantage.

Cholesterol over the years has been only associated with fatty foods. Well, as much as this is the truth, it is not the whole truth, because most of the waxy substance in our bodies is made by our own bodies and not only from food we eat. The liver produces 75 per cent of the cholesterol that circulates in our blood. The other 25 per cent comes from food. At normal levels, cholesterol actually plays an important role in helping cells do their jobs. But cholesterol levels are precariously high in more than 100 million Nigerian couples, hurting their sex lives.

High cholesterol does not cause any symptoms. But it does cause damage deep within the body. Over time, too much cholesterol may lead to a buildup of plaque inside the arteries. Known as atherosclerosis, this condition narrows the space available for blood flow and can trigger heart disease. The good news is high cholesterol is simple to detect, and there are many ways to bring it down. Remember, several factors that can make you more likely to develop high cholesterol include a diet high in saturated fats and cholesterol, a family history of high cholesterol, being overweight or obese and getting older.

Happily, healthy habits to better your cholesterol levels will definitely improve your libido, too. That means exercising, eating right and maintaining a healthy weight. Keep trans fats consumption as low as possible by limiting foods that contain synthetic sources of trans fats, such as partially hydrogenated oils and by limiting other solid fats. For example, replace foods that are higher in solid fats (e.g., red and processed meats) with choices that are lower in solid fats and calories and/or are sources of oils. These include seafood, legumes (beans and peas), and nuts, seeds, and soy products, as well as lean meats, poultry, and eggs. Couples need to also cut saturated fat, slim down.

Lifestyle changes can get your cholesterol levels moving in a better direction — and the most powerful combo is to eat less saturated fat, avoid trans fat and a healthy weight. Quitting smoking can bump up your “good” cholesterol — and lighten the load on your heart in many other ways, too.

Watch out for trans fat because it sends both your good and bad cholesterol levels in the wrong direction. Trans fat is mostly used in baking foods, snack foods, shortening, margarine and fried foods. Check the ingredients and what you eat, partially hydrogenated oil is another name for trans fats.

As a matter of fact, a healthy cholesterol level is good for your brain as well as your heart. High cholesterol can lead to strokes, as well as mini-strokes you might not even notice. Over time, these mini-strokes can cause memory and thinking problems that affect daily life.

One other thing that can hurt sex is when couple always fake sexual enjoyment, fake orgasm, fake pleasure. If you’re faking it, you’re doing yourself a disservice because you’re not learning what turns you on. This eventually takes a toll on the sex bed because sooner or later, your spouse is going to realise that you’re always disconnected.  Instead of faking sex, begin showing appreciation by just touching him or her here and there, then let your touches gradually intensify and then openly whisper some sincere and honest verbal appreciation; the trick of this action is that your spouse will automatically respond and start appreciating you in return. When our spouse  feels appreciated,  it tells on our personality and this encourages us to be more relaxed and at home.

When we feel appreciated, our marriage also benefits from it. This makes us feel sexy and encourages regular sex with our spouse. Having regular sex with our spouse shows we find our spouse sexy and irresistible and finding your spouse irresistible is really good for every marriage relationship. When we find our spouse irresistible, it brings a much-needed spark in our marriage.

Source: Punch

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